best in show: week of july 20th

Beauties and gems:

• Dooce – Twenty-Six – “…And since I hadn’t had a chance to put on any clothes, there I am, number twenty-six, an Influential Woman in Media, running madly around my backyard after a dog with no brain, wearing nothing but my panties and a t-shirt covered in milk stains and dog piss. On my birthday.”
• The Meanest Mom – There is Beauty All Around – I love Jack Handy, truly and deeply.
• Momtrolfreak – How to Piss Me Off at Home Depot, Method #47,983 – “Three year old crying in Home Depot, my favorite sound effect.”
• Motherhood in NYC – Fear of Dying – “Excuse me, is there a way that I can get a Judeo-Christian spell check that doesn’t rape my morals?” …AND (two-fer!)… I’m Getting on a Plane! – “…if a 60something woman leaves her bra, sports or otherwise behind, it’s time to seek medical assistance.”
• The Wind in Your Vagina – Luna – “…the second you go out to get her, she barrels back into the house like some pussy French philosopher all angsty about her freedom. I just shake my head at her. Is there anything more pathetic than a lame house cat? You know there isn’t.”